Are you there?

Great, can we go to the bookstore, like always?

Okay, I’ll only get one thing, okay, maybe two?

What time will you be here?

Great, I’ll be ready!

Five minutes late.

Ten minutes late

Fifteen minutes late.

My mom answers the ringing phone.

Tells me you aren’t coming.

Why?

There is no answer.

Well, that’s okay, we can just watch t.v. or something, Mom.

What time will you be here?

Great, I’ll be ready!

Going to the lake? Cool!

I’ll wear my go-to shorts and my pink shirt, remember, the one with the puppy dog on it?

Love that shirt!

Ten minutes late.

Fifteen minutes late.

Twenty minutes late.

Mom is always answering the phone.

She breaks the news to me again.

Why?

Why aren’t you coming, Dad?

There is no answer.

Did I do something bad?

Why don’t you ever do what you say you will?

I don’t understand, Dad.

Why?

There is no answer.

Guess I won’t get to wear my favorite outfit today.

I go to the mirror to change.

Oh, wait, I’m 24 again.

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About Aloha Mister Hand

28, horror-loving chick, lover of animals, movies, and her boyfriend.

26 responses »

  1. RaoulDukeKD says:

    Nice piece. Quite melancholic, but well constructed. Keep up the great work 🙂

  2. jmount43 says:

    Interesting. You’re doing a great job with this. I have poetry ideas in my head that I need to let out. Great stuff, you!

  3. I reckon you don’t like your daddy much.

  4. mistylayne says:

    Lovely and heartbreaking. I want to give you (((hugs))).

  5. kloipy says:

    Very powerful. Great job

  6. Nice work, looking at this from my perspective (a divorced father of two) it really tugs at the heartstrings & reinforces my belief that putting my kids before myself was the right descison. I will admit to knowing very little about poetry but from my untrained eye you have talent.

    • Thank you! That’s really nice to say, I am glad that I struck a chord, well, hopefully. I really appreciate the kind words!!! I am also glad you put your children first, kudos!

  7. This reminds me of a poem called ‘Daddy’ by Sylvia Plath. I still read a lot of ‘old’ poetry, though I suppose poetry and writing in general is ageless, but anyway I don’t read a lot of modern poetry because I think it is, with a few exceptions, rubbish, and I can’t remember the last time i read something and was reminded of someone who is in my opinion one of the greatest poets of all time.

    Great poem, well done.

  8. Raymond says:

    Great stuff…especially for those who can directly relate…and for those who can’t it does a fine job of describing the “hidden disappointment.”

  9. jpthorn says:

    Very down-beat read. Good work, Jamie.

  10. karlails says:

    I’m not a huge fan of poetry, even though I write a lot of songs and lyrics, which are pretty much the same thing as poetry.
    However, this was pretty cool, since it’s such personal subject matter, the free-form style gives it a sort of ‘stream of consciousness’ feel. Yeah, I really liked it.

  11. ThereWolf says:

    I’m not a poem-type bloke, but that’s ace. Hurt my heart to read that…

    Nice one.

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