Because of some prodding from my fellow bloggers, I decided to write a review of this awful film. Well, not really so much of a review as a scathing expose. I am a pretty open person, and like to give things a chance, but even this abomination couldn’t be saved. There are some things you don’t do, one of them being kill Laurie Strode, whether Jamie Lee Curtis in on board or not. They could not have thought this was a good film, let alone a good idea. They blatantly, and horribly, exploited a beloved film franchise, and decided to use it as a cash cow to get money from unsuspecting teeny-boppers. But we lifelong fans know better.

The dumbass premise of this one revolves around Laurie supposedly killing a paramedic in a body bag instead of the real Michael Myers at the end of the previous film, which was ridiculous to begin with. Then, she’s in a mental home looking scraggly and old and insane, and then lets Michael finally kill her. What a letdown! And total bullshit too – you really think Laurie’s gonna go down like that after 20 years? I was done with this movie five minutes in. This movie, and especially this part, is a complete insult to its audience, and presupposes that we’re a bunch of idiots who are just going to accept this blasphemy as gospel. Lara Croft, Ellen Ripley, Katniss Everdeen, Beatrix Kiddo, Clarice Starling…I mean, come on! Even if any of these other characters have died or will die, they sure as fuck aren’t gonna go out like that! Then, to add to the misery, we get fucking Tyra Banks and Busta Rhymes hosting some lame ass reality show featuring some young horny idiots who are dared to spend the night in the Myers house. With the ever-growing ignorance of the emerging internet generation, we should have seen this coming. Sadly, we never thought they’d degrade one of the most infamous movie villains of all time in such a way. But, of course, they did. And what did we get? Practically another American Pie sequel with some oblivious young morons seeking their fifteen minutes of fame. Well, they got it – though they probably just didn’t think it would be in the form of a hate-filled review online. Too bad. They portrayed Michael Myers as almost a caricature, a monster you have to beat in a video game in order to advance to the next level, or win a prize. It’s practically vomit-inducing. I haven’t watched this movie since it was in theaters ten years ago, and I don’t plan to. Busta should stick to rhyming, and Tyra should stick to “smising” on ANTM.

I only have two dvd’s in my hands….and neither one is this shit!

Sorry, guys, that’s all I got. I can’t talk about this garbage anymore. Avoid this piece of shit at all costs, it’s a fucking sacrilege.

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About Aloha Mister Hand

28, horror-loving chick, lover of animals, movies, and her boyfriend.

28 responses »

  1. The Biggest Issue… for ME… BUSTA RHYMES!!!
    I Mean… Couldn’t They Afford ICE-T, or even ICE CUBE???
    Sheesh.
    His BS Attempt at ALMOST Acting’ish Was MURDER IN ITSELF :*(

    Otherwise, It’s Kind BLAH.
    -BRAD

  2. psykko666 says:

    I never bothered seeing this because it seemed like they were just trying to cash in on the ‘urban’ craze. First we had Leprechaun in the Hood, then Leprechaun Back to tha Hood. This just seemed to be a quick cash grab from the ‘urban’ market. Just my opinion.

  3. The Thorn says:

    Funny… I don’t know how you could NOT like this film: it has an awe-inspiring 3.9/10 rating on imdb!!! 😛

    I know that it must have hurt like hell to revisit this film. Thanks for your bravery and for ripping this one apart for posterity’s sake! 🙂

    …and for gits and shiggles! 😉

    As Busta Rhymes says: Trick or treat, motherfucker! 😀

    • I did it per your suggestion, so you better be grateful! Haha, it’s so ridiculous, I feel like I was sinning even putting those pics on my post. Appreciate your feedback, and you know something, it was fun to eviscerate this film! 🙂 Thanks!

      • The Thorn says:

        Hahaha! Now that it’s out of your system, you’ll hopefully be able to make your peace with it 😛

        I’m looking forward to your next post. Keep up the amazing work! 🙂

  4. rwhyan says:

    lol, hilarious! Great post. Terrible movie.

  5. jmount43 says:

    Okay, now tell us how you really feel about the film. Seriously, Tyra Banks has always reminded me of the Crypt Keeper. Great review!

  6. theipc says:

    You did what you had to do, right? This movie sucks ass, big time. Good work!

  7. Glad they quit the original series when they did — MIcheal was about one sequel away from having corn rows.

    And the less said about “HOO HA! I got Micheal Myers alllllll in check” said the better.

  8. shnsjolin says:

    Sometimes, when one endures great trauma, their brain tends to forget that trauma. That’s how I feel about this movie. I know I’ve watched it, hell I OWN it, but the only thing I can remember is Busta’s terrible “kung-fu.” I am, however, eying this franchise for review this October, so I’ll probably have to give it a go again.

    Love the site by the way!

  9. aaronebrown says:

    Please review the Rob Zombie reboot – would love to read what you think about it as an obvious fan of the series!

  10. Hello love, just read your review and on H8 and thought you were dead on. Just a few things to know about the movie that you might not have been aware of. When they made H20 there was an iron clad promise that Mustafa Akkon was finished with the franchise and that he wanted her on board to “COMPLETE” the collection of the original story in three acts thus no reference to episodes 3-7. It was to be the end. The Mustafa died and Aleek Akkon took over his fathers production company and made the horrendous decision to make “Resurrection” There were so many problems with this movie that the best thing about it was the end credits. I don’t like to use profanity when posting on others blogs, but this was a motherfucking fuck of a mess. Oh and the whole Jamie Lee Curtis thing, well did you know that she got paid five million dollars for the three minutes she appeared in the film and she “DEMANDED” that she be killed off so that the story (as far as her part) would be finished.

    ON another note, I finally got my links working the way I want them and have you listed. Visit if you want and tell me what you think of the hove comment I made about the link. Hope it makes you happy! 🙂

    • Hey, appreciate the long comment! I still think it’s odd that they would screw the series up like that, and that JLC would go along with it….it just doesn’t sit well with me! I just looked at your links, that is so awesome and very kind, thank you so much! 🙂

      • You’re a sweet one love and so no problem giving you a boost if I can. We bloggers all have to stick together and help each other out. There are a lot of people out there writing but that doesn’t mean that what the write is worth reading. So happy to lend a hand. 🙂

  11. blugilliand says:

    Best review of this abomination I’ve ever read. Sums up my feelings perfectly!

  12. I watched this the other night for the first time in a few years. Worse than I remember lol. I can barley tolerate it. Its a once every few years movie. For me worst of the series. The Bul-ray release is actually fairly good. Echo Bridge put out the Blu and also put out H20 on Blu and botched that release, yet they did a good job on Resurrection go figure.

    I got Resurrection for free as a screener for my show so at least I didn’t pay to watch the Blu-ray since yeah pretty bad movie lol.

    I’ve been meaning to comment your reviews. I’m a bit behind lol. Love your writing style.

    • Thank you so much, I really appreciate that! I totally agree that Resurrection is the worst of the the series. Completely unnecessary and pointless. And insulting to the fans, I thought! 🙂 Appreciate your comment!

  13. Haven’t seen the movie and I won’t bother, having read this. I wanted to let you know , though, that your list of kick-ass women inspired me. My novel has a female lead and I’m going to post these names near my computer as I write: “Lara Croft, Ellen Ripley, Katniss Everdeen, Beatrix Kiddo, Clarice Starling…” and Laurie Strode, of course.

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