• Thirteen Ghosts – I just didn’t get this one. It wasn’t scary, not that very many movies are these days, but it just didn’t have a point. Matthew Lillard is always delightful of course, but it was really boring. The ghosts were gory and nicely done, but that’s about it. Nearly everyone I know likes this movie and talks it up like it’s some big thing, and it just isn’t. It’s an okay movie, but nothing special, definitely nothing to rage on and on about.

  • The Blair Witch Project – When this came out, I was 12, and of course, me, along with everyone else in town packed into the movie theaters to see it. I left thinking, “That was it?” I liked the idea and the legends that are detailed in the movie, and the woods can be creepy, but nothing creepy happened. I liked it, and wasn’t mad that I bought into it at twelve years old, but it is definitely not the be-all-end-all of horror. The “found footage” genre, which although this wasn’t the first, was definitely sparked into action by this, leaving us nauseated and disappointed all over America.

  • I Am Legend – This is another film that never lived up to its hype. Like all movies with animals, the dog was the best part. I like Will Smith, and the story, but it never panned out for me. It was trying to be to big, something it wasn’t. It was also too long, with too many dull parts. It’s just…eh, okay. Surely nothing I’d watch multiple times. I’m glad I didn’t jump on the bandwagon with this one.

  • The Sixth Sense – Once again, this was a good movie, very decent. And very emotional in some parts. But “the #1 thriller of all time”? Uhh, I don’t think so. Besides having probably the most quoted line of the last twenty years in film, it was so built up! The story was good, but this movie just doesn’t make the grade in the scary department or the lives-up-to-the-hype department. I know it’s not technically a horror movie, but it might as well be, because it scared a lot of people for some reason. The effects were good, and Haley Joel Osment definitely melted your heart, but this is not one that I have to watch whenever I see it on television.

  • Silent Hill – Before you tell me that it’s not good unless you’ve played the game and understand it, I know. I know. I freaking know. I have never played the game. I am talking purely from a movie perspective. This movie was so boring, I think I may have actually fallen asleep, and that doesn’t happen too often when it comes to films. The creatures, or whatever the hell they were, had a creepy feel to them, like something out of a nightmare, but this movie was so long, and was way too slow. At least, to me. I watched this once, and have never had the urge to watch it again. This is one that is either loved or hated.

  • Paranormal Activity – Ahh, saved the best for last. Make that the worst. This movie was the biggest piece of shit, let-down, disappointing, hyped-up farce I’ve ever seen. The online campaign had everyone going to demand it in their area. And where do they get these fucks they show screaming during the previews in theaters?! These people cannot be scared! It actually worries me that people were frightened by this movie, or its sequels. The only frightening thing is that people, including me, paid to see this garbage. Wow. I cannot believe this, it’s actually bordering on fraud. Talk about a bunch of jumpy people. I still want my fucking $7.50 back, or whatever outrageous ticket price I paid. Worst mistake of my life. Stop being scared of nothing, people!!! If this is scary to you, boy, you gotta another thing coming just from living real life.
Advertisements

About Aloha Mister Hand

28, horror-loving chick, lover of animals, movies, and her boyfriend.

31 responses »

  1. Thirteen Ghosts-Hardly over rated, and honestly gets shit on by most horror fans I’ve talked to. Personally, I enjoyed it for what it was.

    Blair Witch-I give it credit for creating Viral Marketing in the early days of the internet, but the movie itself (haven’t watched it in years) isn’t great, but the history/legends they put into it were way more interesting.

    I Am Legend-Fucking worthless. This is as close to the actual “I Am Legend” novel as “I, Robot” with Will Smith was to it’s source material. “Last Man on Earth” and “Omega Man” were better adaptations of the same story.

    The Sixth Sense-It’s a good movie, and typically the people who refer to it as “The best thriller ever” aren’t horror fans, and at best are barely cinema fans. It was good for what it was, and I feel like it’s taken a lot of unwarranted backlash over the years because Shamalan’s other films have followed a similar “Big Twist Ending” style

    Silent Hill-I’ve honestly only ever played the original Silent Hill game for about 15 mins, and I could not get past the terrible controls, but I enjoy the film for the brooding, nightmare that it is. I’ve argued with my friend who loves the games that the movie is good because his issue is that it’s not close enough to the game.

    Paranormal Activity-Fuck that movie, and fuck the sequel. I did a whole podcast about how much I hated the original, and I’ve got another one coming up where I talk about how much I hated the sequel. I’ve wasted 3 hours of my life on this franchise, and I’m going to end up wasting 4 and half hours of my life when I watch the 3rd one (Which is why you should never announce that your doing a series of films on your show unless you know you can sit through all of them)

  2. Westwords81 says:

    I couldn’t agree more, well maybe not so much with the sixth sense but the rest of them either fell short on a number of levels or were just complete shit. Especially 13 ghosts, I hated that movie. Great list!

  3. rwhyan says:

    Oh, boy. You hit some goods ones here! We have talked enough about our hatred for Paranormal Activity so you know I hate it as much as you. What you wrote is spot on, truly is scary that people get so worked up over that garbage. If those people ever watched a true horror film, they’d have to wear a diaper. Great post, as always!

  4. I Actually Agree.
    All 6 Of Them Stink On Ice.
    Well… ok… The Sixth Sense DOESN’T Stink Stink Stink…
    …Though UNBREAKABLE Is My Favorite M.Night Flick.
    The Other 5 On Your List Are ALL Crap hehehe
    -BRAD

    • Haha, thanks! Like I said, just because it’s overrated doesn’t mean I hate it. I only really hate one movie on that list, and it’s obvious which one that is. Sixth Sense is good, but way overrated. Appreciate the comment! 🙂

  5. HorrorBore says:

    Wait….I Am Legend is considered a horror movie??? REALLY!?!?! Why because it has some scary computer generated monsters in it? Well in that case hollywood how about we add Beetle Juice, Little Monsters, Grimlins, Grimlins 2, Ghostbusters, and all the other movies with “monsters” in it to the horror movie list. Who decides what movies fall into what genre…I want to meet this person.

    Great post though! I completely agree with all of these, however…The Blair Which was a pioneer in the “found footage” genre. Now…if only they could get it right.

  6. Raymond says:

    Okay so clearly me and Jamie are not going on a movie date -LOL – Aside from my age and my wife – the more important reason we won’t be sharing popcorn is because there is a lot of cross over between my six “best” and her six “worst.” I am Legend, Paranornal and The Sixth Sense were some of my fav’s. Although I will agree, video game aside Silent Hill sucked, 13 Ghosts I didn’t bother to see and Blair Witch just wasn’t scary. Of course even with my 3 out of 6 list I do agree with a number of your points. Perhaps your persepective on Paranormal would change if you turned around right now and realized I have been standing at the door watching you read this….LOL.

    • Everyone doesn’t realize I said that just because they’re overrated doesn’t mean I hate them. Only one on that list do I hate. I just said they are overrated and not as good as people say! That’s all! LOL Haha, great comment, thanks a bunch!

  7. I remember really really liking 13 ghosts… but thinking about it now, I can’t remember why? might add it to my watch list next week and come back to you 🙂

  8. I couldn’t agree more with what you said about ‘Paranormal Activity’ and ‘I Am Legend’. ‘I Am Legend’ was a rip off of ridiculous CGI and too glossy to ever be scary. I especially hated the CGI vampires. Couldn’t they find real actors to play the roles!? It would have been much better but the end result was so unbelievably impersonal.

    ‘Paranormal Activity’ baffles me. People act like they are the scariest things on the planet and frankly, I was extremely let down by the first one. To make it worse, they have become the new ‘Saw’ franchise and feel the need to do one every year. And it isn’t just average moviegoers raving about them! Highly respected film critics gush about how good these movies are. They are nothing but a cheap fad that (hopefully) will die out soon.

    -Steve

  9. jmount43 says:

    http://jmountswritteninblood.com/2012/03/16/thir13een-ghosts/

    Here’s a link to my review of 13 Ghosts. In case you’re interested. We are in total agreement on that one.

  10. RaoulDukeKD says:

    Nice list. And I Am Legend is fucking terrible.

  11. CrimeDime says:

    I thought I was the only one so unimpressed with these movies! Recently read the book I am Legend, and I couldn’t help wondering how in the world they could claim that the book and movie were even about the same topic.

  12. Paranormal Activity truly sucked the farts out of roadkill but seriously was I the only person who, as i watched kept thinking shut the bloody bedroom door!?

  13. psykko666 says:

    Damn . . .every film on this overrated list I like, and most I feel are brilliant. lol The Sixth Sense and The Blair Witch Project are two of the best horror films ever made . . .

    • Haha, everyone assumes I hate them because I think they’re overrated. I don’t! I just didn’t jump up and down over them, that’s all. I do like them! Except Paranormal Activity, which was the dumbest movie ever. LOL

      • psykko666 says:

        I did like PA 1, hated 2. I do think PA was overrated, though. It was a nice little ghost story, even though the ending sucked. Both of them.

  14. Gary Lee says:

    Okay, I was in total agreement with this list from the top to the near bottom: Sixth Sense was a snoozer to me – as was I Am Legend; Blair Witch was very clever, but as you said nothing really happened. I walked out of Silent Hill it was so atrocious. And I never watched 13 Ghosts b/c it looked generic to me…which leads me to:

    Paranormal Activity…

    I saw the ads on TV and rolled my eyes. I thought it was an advertising publicity stunt, and so I made a point not to go see it. I saw a lot of mixed reviews; some people liked it, and some didn’t. Finally, long after it left theaters I went ahead and ordered the disk from Netflix – and when I watched it I turned off the lights and put it on at 2am…and surprisingly, it rattled the shit out of me!

    I am thinking that maybe the ones who felt like this was simply not scary at all didn’t allow themselves to become engrossed in the story.

    You set-up a camera in your bedroom and leave it recording while you sleep – and when you review the footage the next day you see:

    – the bedroom door shut by itself.
    – the covers moving by itself
    – and your g/f rise out of bed and stand over you and stare at you for HOURS while you sleep.

    And you are seriously going to tell me that wouldn’t freak you the F**K out!?

    I do not believe that.

    I think that the ones who said this was not scary were possibly distracted, or maybe not giving it their undivided attention; or maybe I was rattled by it b/c I was in my bedroom in the pitch black while watching, and maybe the atmosphere amplified the experience for me.

    But I allowed myself to totally get into it, and it crept me out far worse than just about any other horror movie I’ve seen…

    And I am definitely not a teeny-bopper; i am a horror buff, and most horror films are more humorous than scary to me. I have spent more time rolling my eyes at the stupidity of horror films than squirming nervously on the edge of my seat, as I did with this one.

    Another element so great about PA was that there was no score; so you didn’t get that overly excessive BANG to try to jolt a scare out of you which is such a played-out and cheap tactic that so many horror movies rely on b/c they’re usually lacking a story.

    I also liked that there was practically no gore; just b/c someone is getting stabbed, cut, or split with an ax doesn’t make it a film “scary”. Suspense and tension is what makes a story scary; and learning that a demon has been haunting you since childhood and is coming back for you is pretty damn unnerving.

    • I appreciate the feedback! But, I thought the movie sucked. Sorry. I was not distracted, I was bored, annoyed, and disappointed thoroughly. But I love that you liked it so much! I’m not knocking you, just isn’t my cup of tea 😀

Speak :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s