- Thirteen Ghosts – I just didn’t get this one. It wasn’t scary, not that very many movies are these days, but it just didn’t have a point. Matthew Lillard is always delightful of course, but it was really boring. The ghosts were gory and nicely done, but that’s about it. Nearly everyone I know likes this movie and talks it up like it’s some big thing, and it just isn’t. It’s an okay movie, but nothing special, definitely nothing to rage on and on about.
- The Blair Witch Project – When this came out, I was 12, and of course, me, along with everyone else in town packed into the movie theaters to see it. I left thinking, “That was it?” I liked the idea and the legends that are detailed in the movie, and the woods can be creepy, but nothing creepy happened. I liked it, and wasn’t mad that I bought into it at twelve years old, but it is definitely not the be-all-end-all of horror. The “found footage” genre, which although this wasn’t the first, was definitely sparked into action by this, leaving us nauseated and disappointed all over America.
- I Am Legend – This is another film that never lived up to its hype. Like all movies with animals, the dog was the best part. I like Will Smith, and the story, but it never panned out for me. It was trying to be to big, something it wasn’t. It was also too long, with too many dull parts. It’s just…eh, okay. Surely nothing I’d watch multiple times. I’m glad I didn’t jump on the bandwagon with this one.
- The Sixth Sense – Once again, this was a good movie, very decent. And very emotional in some parts. But “the #1 thriller of all time”? Uhh, I don’t think so. Besides having probably the most quoted line of the last twenty years in film, it was so built up! The story was good, but this movie just doesn’t make the grade in the scary department or the lives-up-to-the-hype department. I know it’s not technically a horror movie, but it might as well be, because it scared a lot of people for some reason. The effects were good, and Haley Joel Osment definitely melted your heart, but this is not one that I have to watch whenever I see it on television.
- Silent Hill – Before you tell me that it’s not good unless you’ve played the game and understand it, I know. I know. I freaking know. I have never played the game. I am talking purely from a movie perspective. This movie was so boring, I think I may have actually fallen asleep, and that doesn’t happen too often when it comes to films. The creatures, or whatever the hell they were, had a creepy feel to them, like something out of a nightmare, but this movie was so long, and was way too slow. At least, to me. I watched this once, and have never had the urge to watch it again. This is one that is either loved or hated.
- Paranormal Activity – Ahh, saved the best for last. Make that the worst. This movie was the biggest piece of shit, let-down, disappointing, hyped-up farce I’ve ever seen. The online campaign had everyone going to demand it in their area. And where do they get these fucks they show screaming during the previews in theaters?! These people cannot be scared! It actually worries me that people were frightened by this movie, or its sequels. The only frightening thing is that people, including me, paid to see this garbage. Wow. I cannot believe this, it’s actually bordering on fraud. Talk about a bunch of jumpy people. I still want my fucking $7.50 back, or whatever outrageous ticket price I paid. Worst mistake of my life. Stop being scared of nothing, people!!! If this is scary to you, boy, you gotta another thing coming just from living real life.