- Alien v. Predator: Requiem – Like most of the movies on this list, this idea simply did not need a sequel. Alien v. Predator was a very unique film, and really sent you into the depths (literally) of the origins of each monster. Sometimes, things should not be discovered, and the original shows why. But after the surprising good 2004 film, we, of course, had to have a sequel. Why not? Who cares, as long as it makes money? Wrong. This movie is so bad. Most movies, whether a sequel or remake, try to capitalize on a teen audience, and in fact, make the point that they think the teen audience is a bunch of idiots, only interested in male and female anatomy and the ensuing drama. Granted, this movie is not completely like that, but it is also not a well-made film. It’s just another rehashing of townspeople banding together to fight a common enemy. Fine. Except this one just sucks.
- Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday – We all know by the time this shitty sequel came around, the franchise had, for all intents and purposes, pretty much landed dead in the water. They were grasping at straws by this point, so why not take an already pushing-the-cheese-boundaries franchise and blow up the main antagonist and allow him to possess people? Sure! No, no, no. The idea behind Jason Goes to Hell was downright stupid, and even if that weren’t the case, it was horribly acted, and not to mention, boring. This had none of the umph that any of the previous sequels had (no matter how bad people thought they were). I hate that a franchise I love has an intolerably shitty sequel, but it seems they all have one. I don’t mean bad as in B-movie, I mean bad as in, this really blows. Badly.
- The Ring Two – Okay, I’ll admit it, the first Ring film actually creeped me out, and impressed me. So much so that I saw it five times at the theater. I really didn’t think it needed a sequel, but like I’ve said, people cannot leave well enough alone, so we got The Ring Two. Bad idea. This movie holds none of the fear of the first one, mainly because we have already uncovered the mystery surrounding the demise of Samara and the creation of the videotape. But this one just didn’t have any hitch in its giddy-up. It was not scary, the story was flimsy at best, and compared to the first film, the acting was sadly, inferior.
- Scream 4 – Okay, don’t get me wrong. I liked this movie, I just wasn’t crazy about it. Maybe it’s because the original story was as much a horror movie as it was a slap in the face to people who felt teenagers were innocent, naive, and could not deal with reality. Maybe it’s my cynicism about the current state of the world today and how technology has taken over everything and everything is videotaped. Maybe I just think that the original film, and its sequels to some extent, proved a point about the intelligence and self-deprecation of that generation, where everyone was self-aware and over-analytical. Now, it’s all Facebook and YouTube. Not for all of us, it’s not. I just couldn’t get into this film. The killers were somewhat predictable and their motive was really dumb; more proof that no one has to have talent to do anything anymore, just get knocked up or get plastic surgery, or in this case, kill people. To me, that’ s a disgusting cop-out, and a real commentary on today’s society. Maybe I read too much into things, but all that aside, it just didn’t have the drive, focus, or excitement of the first film, let alone the first three.
- Halloween: Resurrection – AHHHHHHHHHHH! I’m sorry, was I screaming? This movie is absolutely the worst piece of dung I think I have ever seen. Nevermind the comparisons to the franchise as a whole or even scary movies in general. This just….sucks. First of all, to kill Laurie, and Jamie Lee Curtis going along with that just made me feel queasy. If she wanted to kill the character off, why not just not do the movie? The directors couldn’t possibly think this was a good film, let alone one that should ever been seen in public. It sucked regardless, so why not just kill Laurie off and make every horror fan (or non-horror fan, for that matter) in America hate you? Let’s not even mention the plotline. Really? How predictable can you get? You didn’t even try! More internet and video bullshit from the “Look at me!” generation. Michael Myers should have just walked on by his old house and said “I’m not even gonna fucking go there!” and went and got a cheeseburger or something. That would’ve been more pleasant. Please tell me no one likes this film?
- Paranormal Activity 2 – The only good thing about this movie was the cute dog. The first one is also a terrible film, because it was hyped up so much, that it was such an unbelievable let down when you actually saw it. I cannot believe the people who tell me these movies are scary. Have you ever been outside in your life?! My neighborhood is scarier than this! I really wanted to like these movies and give them a chance, but they leave such a bad taste in my mouth, I cannot get past it. They are not terrifying, nor do they have the B-movie cheese that could save a movie as dreadful as this. One hopeful realization is that most people who liked or were scared by these movies are not major, hardcore horror fans. They’re teeny-boppers who want to go to the movies on Friday night to feel up their girlfriend, or boyfriend as it were. That is it. Either I’m really desensitized, or many people have lost their minds. I vote for the latter option.
There are many other sequels that turn our stomachs, and not in a good way, but these are just a few. What do you think?