Tag Archives: torture

Of all the horror movies I’ve ever seen, few have actually made me nervous. Even fewer than that have scared me. Thus, I thought I might create a list or two, focusing on those moments in certain films, and how and why they managed to scare me when so many others did not. This is not necessarily an exhaustive list, nor is it composed of movies based on their true quality or popularity level. Some scared me all the way through, and some, just in certain instances.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)

Okay, I’ll admit it. This movie creeped me out, in a big way. In the best fucking way possible. Now, don’t get me wrong, not the whole movie. I wasn’t sitting there like some punk. But this movie is absolutely chilling. I am being 100% honest here. The feeling, the atmosphere, the story, the tapes, the possibility that it could happen, and probably has happened? Just think about it here for a minute – a serial killer, young enough to be unassuming, yet old enough to not get caught, who has no preference in his victim selection, and who rids them of all dignity, humility, and self-esteem before brutally killing them, on camera no less? Come on, now! It’s fucking amazingly twisted. Yeah, yeah, the acting on the part of the regular folks wasn’t the best, but the acting of Ben Messmer (The Water Street Butcher), and the victims, particularly sympathetic Stacy Chbosky (Cheryl Dempsey) is utterly astounding. I want to feel uncomfortable when watching a horror film, I love that feeling, I thrive on that feeling, and this movie does it for me. I definitely don’t think it gets enough credit, mainly because hardly anyone has seen it because it doesn’t exist except on the internet, and because people are leery of the “found footage” subgenre of horror. I get it, and I hear you. But, this movie is a shining example, to me, of how a horror film should be made. It is horrifying, which is the goal of a horror movie, hence the name. The entire movie you’re pretty much on pins and needles because the normal scenes are so quiet, and then when they cut to footage of the tapes, it’s very loud, and there is usually a woman screaming in terror. This makes it very unnerving, and you can never get fully comfortable in your own skin throughout. This makes it a very effective film, indeed. The most nerve-wracking and fucked up moments?

1) The Creepy All-Fours Walk

Here’s a taste of the scene that gives me chills. It still gets me no matter how many times I see it. The Butcher wears a white, emotionless mask on the back of his head, creating an illusion, when really he is walking on all-fours, and wearing a creepy Comeddia dell’arte mask on his face as he moves closer to the camera. He then kills his terrified victim, up close and personal. I literally pull my legs into my chest when I see this. I cannot explain it. But it scares the fuck out of me. I admit it without shame. If this doesn’t scare you, there might be something wrong with you.

2) Cheryl’s Mom Confronted

Soon after teen and main victim Cheryl Dempsey is abducted, The Butcher confronts her mother, telling her, “if there’s anything I can do…..”. As she realizes who he might be, he simply giggles eerily and walks away. There is something about this that absolutely kills me. Maybe it’s the gall of the killer to confront his victim’s own mother because he is confident that he will never be caught, or the trauma this further causes the mother, but something about it goes through me, and fills me with sadness.

3) Cheryl’s Depressing Interview

Towards the end, Cheryl is rescued and returned home. She seems to have aged thirty years and is depressed beyond measure. She has been conditioned by the killer to respond only to him, with whatever he wanted her to say. Thus, she keeps telling the cameramen, “I don’t know what you want me to say….” This broke my heart, because people are really that broken by experiences they’ve had, and though this movie is fake, shit like this does happen. It is also revealed that her left hand has been removed. She refers to her Master, that he will come to get her, and that he didn’t mean to leave her behind. Most chilling, she thinks he really loves her. At the end of the short interview, words appear onscreen, informing us that she killed herself two weeks ago the taping. After this, a news reporter comes on, talking about how her body was stolen from the cemetery where she was recently buried. Scary. I don’t care what anyone says, this movie GETS to me. Which is really the point, yes?

The Strangers (2008)

Well, if it hasn’t been made obvious by now, the scariest movies to me are those that could actually happen. Home invasion, serial killers, torture and torment? Yeah, right up my alley. So, of course, The Strangers will always appear positively in any list of mine. I was so pleasantly surprised by this movie, and I could hardly believe it was Bryan Bertino’s directorial debut. The fact that it is loosely based on a few real life incidents (the Manson murders, The Keddie Cabin Murders) makes it all the more horrifying. A young, innocent, likeable couple terrorized in their own home (well, vacation home), by three psychopaths throughout the course of an entire night is horrifying to think about. The whole movie is creepy, for sure, but here are my top scenes.

1) Kristen Terrorized

From the moment James leaves to get more cigarettes, Kristen is tormented by the strangers, slowly at first, rapping on the door every so often, pretending to still be looking for Tamara, and then loud, malicious pounding. Kristen’s cigarettes and the fireplace have caused the alarm to go off, and she removes it, leaving it on the floor as the door is hit once again. She calls James to tell him to hurry, and goes back in the living room. The smoke alarm is now sitting on the cushion of the chair she used to stand on. They’ve been in the house, and even stolen her phone and thrown it in the fireplace. Eventually, the front door opens slightly, and Kristen sees a woman in a pin-up girl mask staring back at her. We weren’t quite expecting that, which is what makes it so startling. The whole scene builds up so much that once we catch a glimpse of one of the tormentors, we practically jump out of our seats. Well, I did. Amazing.

2) Mike is Stalked

Earlier in the night, James had called his friend to come pick him up, as he and Kristen were fighting. He finally arrives, after most of the terror has taken place. He enters the house, which is eerily quiet, except for the Merle Haggard record, “Mama Tried” playing over and over. As he walks through the house, confused and nervous, the masked male stranger appears behind him, stalking him with an ax. We’re sure he is going to be hacked to death brutally, but in a fucked up turn of events, James shoots him in the head, not realizing it is his friend. This scene is where everything pretty much goes to hell. We know the victims are probably not going to survive, and even if they did, they just killed their best friend and would be messed up for life. Fear can make us do horrible, unintentional things, and this scene proves that.

3) “Because you were home”

After the night of terror is over, the sun rises, as Kristen and James are bound and tied to two chairs in the living room. The strangers stand over them, just staring. Kristen asks, “Why are you doing this to us?”, to which the blonde stranger replies, “Because you were home”. This is so beyond creepy. They were just out looking for people to terrorize, and they just happened to be home. The strangers are a trio of sociopaths, who get their kicks tormenting and torturing helpless people in their homes. They thrive on the fear it causes, and once their fun is over, they must do away with them. James is stabbed slowly several times with a butcher knife, and then the same happens to Kristen. James is dead once the two little religious boys arrive to solicit Jesus materials, but Kristen is still alive, and screams out in terror as one little boy reaches out to her. I was just so, so impressed with this film.

The Ring (2002)

The Ring is one of those films I’ll never tire of. Yeah, I know it’s ten years old now (Jesus!), but it still freaked me out when I saw it, so it is deserving of my loyalty and love. Even at 14 I was a hardcore movie freak, and cynic, but I was pleasantly surprised by this gem. I really don’t care what anyone says. Gore Verbinski did a tremendous job on this film. Not one line of dialogue, one speck of lighting, nor one aspect of storyline is out-of-place. To me, that means a hell of a lot, not to mention, it features one of the creepiest kids ever in horror.

1) The Tale of Katie and the Tape

The beginning of the film opens with two teen girls, staying in on a rainy night, talking. The subject of urban legends comes up, and Becca mentions to Katie the mysterious tape that “kills you when you watch it”, seven days after receiving the threatening post-view phone call. Katie believes she’s seen the tape, and fakes Becca out by pretending to choke. After some shenanigans, the phone rings, scaring the girls to death. It’s Katie’s mom, and they answer it downstairs. Becca departs so they can talk, but after speaking to her mom begins to experience some strange things. The television comes on The Static Channel by itself, twice, she sees a blurry movement in the screen, and the refrigerator opens by itself. Okay, not too creepy when you type it, but the film makes it pretty eery. After going upstairs, she steps in a mysterious puddle outside her door. Upon opening the door, she witnesses the t.v. on a strange blueish-grey screenshot of a well in a forest, which prompts her to scream and contort her face unattractively as the screen cuts to black. Later on, at her funeral, her mother says she saw her face, and the scene quickly cuts to Katie curled up in her closet – twisted, contorted, and discolored. Look, it’s fuckin’ creepy, okay? Just admit it! Even the guy friend I was with seeing this for the first time ten years ago practically hit the ceiling! Me? I was startled, but I held my own, unlike him.

2) The Tape Itself

Do I really have to describe this one? The tape itself isn’t really scary, but it sure is strange, and the creepiest part is before we know the whole story, we’re sitting there, thinking, “What a bunch of random fucked up shit!” And it is, it really is. And the lighting and coloring of this videotape makes it even more odd and discomforting.

3) Samara’s Return

So, if you tell me that when Samara came up out of the well, and came through the television set, you didn’t get rattled, you’re either lying, or dead. Perhaps both. Of course, it’s not too big a deal now that we’ve all seen it a thousand times, but the first few times, particularly the first, it was fucking amazing. This evil little bitch will not be stopped, and she has to go and kill sweet Noah. Typical, the good guy dies, I call BULLSHIT. But still, it proves she is unrelenting, and innately evil. Not even Rachel’s compassion and discovery of her water-logged body will faze her. I wouldn’t want to meet her in a dark alley, because my charming ways would apparently not work on her. This scene is a classic already, and still gets my stomach in knots when I see it. A few male friends even told me they turned their sets around when they got home from the movie when they first saw it. Bold of them to admit, but can you blame them? It was unsettling, and shows that there usually is no happy ending in horror films.

MORE TO COME! :)


This post may draw a bit of criticism, or at the very least, disagreement, but hey, that’s okay. I love this sequel, and I am proud to admit it. Yep, that’s right. I fucking love this movie! I know, I know, it’s the most hated amongst the Chainsaw films, but for me, it’s one of my favorite movies to watch, period, horror or not. Besides being kooky and crazy in a good way (unlike Part 2, which was frantic and somewhat muddled), there are three fantastic cameos, not to mention, amazing performances from Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey. On a side note, for some reason, the program I use to grab my screencaps doesn’t want to work for Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, so I will try to get it working soon, but for now, we’re going a little out-of-order!

I’ll tell ya, when I was about nine, and this was finally released on Pay-Per-View, I begged my mom to let me see it. Having seen the other films, she wasn’t sure, but since I had watched horror movies my whole life, she gave in. After it was over? We both looked at each other, like, that’s it? Because it truly is more schtick than shock, and more hilarious than horrifying, but it’s absolutely fantastic. Unlike Part 2, which seemed to have no direction it was headed in, period, this one had no direction it was going in on purpose. It was supposed to be wild and ridiculous, and make the viewer really feel like they weren’t quite sure what was going on. If not for the funny parts, I would seriously compare it to the original in that one regard.

Its May of 1996, and we meet some teens going to their high school prom. Jenny, the resourceful, cute, nerdy, girl-next-door (brilliantly portrayed by Zellweger) is dating Sean (John Harrison). Friends Barry (Tyler Cone), the jock, and Heather (Lisa Marie Newmyer), the ditzy, cheerleader type, are all decked out in fancy prom gear.  Heather can’t seem to find Barry, when she comes upon him cheating on her with some other chick. She loses it, and takes off in his car. She slows down to let him in, and takes off down the road. He tries to calm her down, but basically blames her for his cheating, telling her that guys can get prostate cancer if they get blue balled. Jenny, hiding in the back seat, smoking weed with Sean, emerges, stating that it’s a lie, nearly scaring the couple half to death. Heather, startled, wonders out in the middle of the intersection, and Barry’s car is struck.

Barry’s pissed, worried that his dad will find out about the pot smoke and now the damage, but they keep driving on down the road. Jenny continues to tell Heather not to blame herself, because you can’t get cancer from not having sex. Heather doesn’t really seem to buy it, and Barry tells Jenny to shut up. He harasses her about wearing conservative clothing, and that he thinks she and Sean are just friends, and that she hates guys. Sean even tells Heather about when they were little, and he used to brag about all the boobs he’d touched, because he told girls “his father was a doctor, and they’d get cancer if they didn’t get felt up enough”. Heather’s disgusted by her boyfriend’s behavior, but not seemingly enough to do anything about it.

After the kids continue joyriding deeper into the woods, they are struck by another car, only this time, it’s harder, and the other driver is hurt and unconscious. Concerned, Jenny, Heather, and Barry decide to go call for help, while Sean stays behind with the victim. They walk along into the woods, with only a flashlight and uncomfortable prom shoes, while Heather acts paranoid that someone is following her and wants to kill her.

They reach a little business, operated by a very eccentric woman named Darla (Tonie Perensky – you might remember her as the teacher-by-day, stripper-by-night from Varsity Blues). She calls her boyfriend, Vilmer, to tell him to take his tow truck out to their crash site. She tells a joke that, of course, Heather doesn’t get (Why do blondes stick their head out a car window? To get a refill). Suddenly, a rock flies through the window, and Darla goes to the window to flash the pranksters. Striking the kids as a bit odd, they leave as soon as they can. Meanwhile, at the crash, Vilmer (McConaughey) arrives to check on the injured teen. Sean tells him he’s been talking in his sleep, but Vilmer keeps insisting he’s already dead, and Sean refutes this. So, Vilmer reaches down and breaks the kid’s neck. “Well, he’s dead now”, Vilmer says. Sean, completely fucking freaked, begins backing away from the man with the mechanical leg. He asks him what he’s going to do, to which he replies, “First, I’m gonna kill you; it ain’t no fuckin’ biggie!” He hops in the wrecker and chases Sean down the road, and eventually hits him. He also backs over him several times while listening to rock music.

As the teens make their “about a mile” trek back to the crash site, Heather wants Barry to carry her, but he refuses. A car drives by, and the couple attempt to flag it down, and follow it. Jenny goes on another way by herself. Heather sort of drops the stupid act, revealing that she only acts that way because that’s what’s expected of her. She tells Barry she’s a bitch, and just like her mother. She also begins to defend Jenny, saying she’s shy because her stepdad(s) always hit on her, but she has a body to die for. Soon, Heather and Barry reach an old farmhouse, thinking they can pay someone for a ride into town. They knock, but no answer. Barry goes around back to check, and Heather sits in the porch swing. Leatherface soon sneaks up behind her, completely silent, and one of the few times in the whole series that he gave me the creeps. He begins touching her hair, but she swats him away, thinking it’s a bug. Meanwhile, out back, a man pulls a shotgun on Barry, as he attempts to explain that they just need a ride. The man, W.E., begins reciting the first of many historical quotes, and forces him around to the front of the house. Heather gets up to walk away, since she is annoyed with that “bug” that keeps fucking with her, and she sees Leatherface. She screams bloody murder, and tries to run, as he grabs her. She puts up a hell of a fight, but he drags her in the house, and stuffs her in a freezer. Leatherface begins screaming his loony scream, as W.E. forces Barry to go inside. He says fine, that he needs to use the bathroom anyway. He has no idea what he’s walking into.

Once inside, he uses the bathroom, still calling for Heather, not knowing she’s been attacked. He comes across a decaying, nasty corpse in a bathtub, and freaks. As he runs, Leatherface pops out and bashes him in the head with a sledgehammer, and kicks him repeatedly. Heather attempts to get out of the freezer, so Leatherface picks her up, and impales her on a meat hook. Surprisingly, I do feel bad for her character, because though she’s a bit ditzy, she was a good person, and a good friend. Back on the road, Jenny flags down the wrecker, and asks Vilmer where Sean is. She finally gets in the truck, and he begins telling her how it’s not good getting in a car with strangers these days. Jenny nods, making polite conversation, and he adds that he heard about a guy who picked up a hitchhiker, cut both her arms off, and threw her in a culvert (It’s likely that he’s referring to the Mary Vincent case – a real crime that happened to a 15-year-old hitchhiker. She was raped by an older man, who afterward hacked both her arms off, and threw her in a ditch. Thankfully, she lived). Jenny gets really scared when, after telling the story, Vilmer says, “That sorry son of a bitch didn’t have shit for an imagination! How fuckin’ simple can you get?” She wants him to let her out, but he tells her if she really wants to be scared, to look in the back of the truck. She finally does, and to her horror, sees the injured teen, and boyfriend Sean dead, strung upside down like deer carcasses. Vilmer tells Jenny he doesn’t care what happens to her, that it’s her life, so she leaps from the moving vehicle.

Apparently, he does care a bit what happens to her because he begins chasing her through the woods in his truck. Eventually, she runs into a cluster of trees the vehicle won’t reach, and he tells her she doesn’t know what the hell she doing, and to ‘live and learn’. He turns off the truck’s spotlight, backs up, and drives away. Suddenly, a chainsaw-wielding Leatherface bursts forth, and starts chasing Jenny. Zellweger really shows off her true athletic ability, especially in this chase sequence, which I found to be my favorite amongst the Chainsaw films. She makes her way to the farmhouse, where she runs upstairs and finds a gun. Leatherface begins sawing his way through the front door (he has no regard for doors or decency, clearly he was raised in a barn), and Jenny fires the gun, but there are no bullets. So, she chucks the gun at him, and runs back upstairs and flings herself out the window, onto the roof.

Jenny manuevers around the roof, running from Leatherface, and climbs up the antenna. He hacks that down just as she jumps on a wire. Well, he cuts that down too, and she falls into the old greenhouse. Dazed and stunned, she begins running again just as Leatherface revs up the chainsaw’s engine. Another really cool chase scene ensues, ending as Jenny finds herself back at the business they used the phone at earlier. Darla tells her to calm down, and that is was probably just a prank. Jenny insists that the dude had a chainsaw, and Darla uses the phone, telling someone to get there “mucho quicko”. W.E. arrives with a cattle prod, and Darla tells him he should’ve brought a gunny sack or something, and he replies, holding out a garbage bag, “What’s this look like to you – green eggs?” She tells him to tie her up, and Jenny freaks, realizing they’re in on the whole thing. W.E. knocks her out by continuously beating her with the cattle prod, as well as zapping her with it, much like The Cook did in the original with a broom.

Darla calls to order pizza, as W.E. stuffs Jenny in the trunk. She goes to pick up the pizza, and is nearly caught by a police officer who notices her talking to someone in her trunk. Jenny tells Darla she can’t breathe, so she pokes a hole in the bag covering her head. As she gets her food, the police watch her suspiciously, and follow her for a while. They move on, and Darla continues driving home. She comes upon Heather laying in the middle of the road, having escaped somehow. She begins beating her ridiculously with a stick, and tells her not to go anywhere. Darla has Leatherface grab Jenny and bring her inside, as he is shocked by W.E. with the cattle prod. Leatherface appears to be scared of him, but listens to Darla and Vilmer. W.E., holding pieces of wood, states to Vilmer, “Look what your brother did to the door!” (Another obvious homage to the original. That’s part of the insanity I love in these films – they kidnap and kill people, but they’re concerned about a fucking door!) Once inside, Vilmer sits her down, and removes the trash bag. She’s terrified to see the same man who killed her boyfriend, and he proceeds to taunt, tease, and torment her. Once they bring Heather back inside, Vilmer says he’s in the mood for love, and bites the crap out of Heather’s nose and face, his mouth dripping with blood as he laughs maniacally.

Cut to the next scene, and Darla is attempting to comfort Jenny in the nasty, filthy bathroom. Jenny wants her to help her escape, but she says she’s not allowed to. She also tells Jenny that Vilmer works for a group of people who are always talked about, but no one knows who they are (“Who do you think killed Kennedy??”) It’s presumed that this so-called group is the Illuminati, which is on the side of Vilmer’s wrecker, though it’s never mentioned. Darla, for a psycho, is actually being pretty nice, but Vilmer bursts in, throws her out, and pins Jenny up against the door, stating, “I’ve got a mind…..to slit your goddamn throat!” as he raises a knife to her neck. He tells him she has ten seconds to give him a good reason why he shouldn’t do it. As he counts down to one, she says, “You want me alive for some reason”, and Vilmer thinks it’s a good enough answer. He even kisses her on the cheek. As they leave the room, Darla attacks him for “embarrassing” her “in front of company”. He gets her on the floor, with his boot on her throat, when Jenny grabs the shotgun, pointing it at all of them. With all the madness going on, Jenny tries to coax an unconscious, dying Heather to get up, but she can’t, and falls back asleep in a pool of her own blood. Jenny tells everyone to get on the floor with their hands up, and they all comply, even Leatherface. Vilmer tells her it isn’t loaded, to which she replies, “Maybe it’s not loaded, but maybe it is, so fuck you!” Vilmer goes crazy and begins cutting himself with a razor, and Darla attacks him again, yelling and screaming. Jenny tells Vilmer to leave her alone, and he turns around and sticks the gun in his own mouth.

Jenny closes her eyes and pulls the trigger, but nothing happens. Vilmer grabs the gun, points it above her head and shoots. He begins cheering and hollering for some reason, and Jenny runs outside. She gets in the car and backs up, but Vilmer jumps from the window onto the vehicle. He tries attacking her from the windshield, when she brakes, and he falls. As she drives on, however, the hood flies up and she cannot see. She ends up crashing, and Vilmer takes her back inside. The family is getting ready for dinner, which by now, would probably be really gross and not safe, but Leatherface dresses in drag, and puts on lipstick, and admires himself in the mirror. Darla, now dressed in some kind of S&M looking outfit, begins flirting with Vilmer in the kitchen, and fucks with his mechanical leg by pressing all the buttons on his remotes. They begin heavily making out, before she kicks him with her heel. Well, now it’s time for dinner, but I’m sure the pizzas are cold by now, despite what Darla says.

The dinner guests include, besides Leatherface, Darla, W.E, and Vilmer, three dead individuals, the dead-looking grandfather figure, an unconscious Heather, and a very terrified Jenny. She is now in a completely different dress, a very strange black, silver, and red get-up, and is seated at the head of the table. Once she looks around her to see who her dinner companions are, she begins screaming hysterically, while Vilmer begins screaming at the top of his lungs in her ear. She begins having a panic attack, and Vilmer mocks that, as well. Darla gives her a paper sack to breathe into, and she calms down a bit. Jenny asks if Darla’s going to help her or not. Darla says she cannot, because Vilmer put a chip in her head, and all he is to do it is push a button, and she makes an exploding noise. Jenny finds this hysterical, so Darla repeats it, to which Jenny replies, “There’s nothing in your head”. W.E. states, “Girl, you just said a mouthful”, and Jenny finds this hilarious as well. I fucking love this scene, because, well, it’s just perfect. It is hilarious in a darkly comical way, the way part 2 tried to be but wasn’t. Jenny is finally realizing these people are insane, and that to stay sane herself, she must defend herself, and separate her mind from this bunch of misfits.

Vilmer tries to grab Jenny, but she slaps him hard across the face, twice, and tells him never to touch her again. Thinking she could very well just walk out the door of this madhouse, she states that she’s going to leave, and no one will stop her. Leatherface stands up and begins screaming, to which Jenny hilariously replies, “You sit the fuck down! And shut up!” Haha, wow, I love that part, and among the many fantastic lines of the movie, this one just really struck me funny. I always look forward to that part. After her defiant act, Vilmer returns to the dining room with lighter fluid, pours it on Heather’s back, and sets her on fire. Jenny screams and begs him not to, and that she’s sorry for acting up. Heather runs into the wall, where Darla uses a fire extinguisher and puts her out. She complains about never getting that smell out of her clothes. Heather, however, is not dead yet. Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and in walks a strange man in a business suit named Rothman. He stares at Vilmer, disapprovingly, and makes his way through the house. Once he reaches the dining room, Jenny runs to him, asking him to help her. Leatherface, however, grabs her and makes her sit back down. Rothman corners Vilmer, and asks him what the hell is going on, and that he knows he’s here because he wants these people to know the true meaning of horror. He proceeds to take off his shirt and walk toward Jenny. She is disgusted when he reveals his stomach is covered with scars and piercings, and he begins licking her face.

As he buttons up his shirt, and turns to leave, she wipes his nasty saliva off of her face. Vilmer, upset by that Rothman guy, walks over to Heather, puts his boot on her head, and proceeds to slowly crush her skull, while Leatherface holds back a crying Jenny. It sounds really gross, and like I’ve said before, sometimes sounds are worse than what you’re actually seeing. After he kills her, Vilmer starts repeating, “Why?”, as he cuts himself in the arm and his chest with a razor blade. He’s crying, and Darla tries to stop him from hurting himself. During the chaos, Jenny takes off running, but Vilmer grabs her again as Leatherface starts his chainsaw. Vilmer tries to hold Jenny down so Leatherface can kill her, but she grabs the remote to his electronic leg, and begins pushing buttons. After a long back and forth of the two of them trying to gain control of his leg, Jenny gets the upper hand, and takes off running out the front door. Vilmer stands on the front porch telling Leatherface to “get that bitch”, and yelling his own name.

By now, its early morning, and a recreational plane flies overhead. Jenny is still running from Leatherface, and on a dirt road, comes across an old couple driving in an R.V. She runs out in front of their vehicle, yelling for them to stop. The woman, Mrs. Spottish, tells her husband not to stop, until she sees that the girl is being attacked and that there’s a “monster chasing her with a chainsaw!” She gets in the vehicle, and along comes Vilmer in his wrecker right alongside them, and Leatherface hitching a ride in the bed of the truck, still trying to get Jenny. This causes the RV to crash, and land on its side. We don’t know if the old couple is killed or not, but all we do know is that Jenny is still running. She hops off the wrecked RV and runs down the dirt road, with Vilmer on her heels. As if by fate, plan, or coincidence, that recreational plan flies just low enough to hit Vilmer in the head with one of its wheels. He’s finally dead, with his head oozing an amount of blood that seems just about right for what just happened to him. Jenny stares at the body with disgust, as Leatherface begins crying, screaming, and wildly swinging his chainsaw. A limousine pulls up, and honks for her to get in. She does, but the kind-hearted stranger turns out to be Rothman, sitting quietly, reading a newspaper.

He tells her not to be frightened, and that everything that happened to her was intended to be a religious experience. He rambles on about his inferiority, and the things he’s done, to which Jenny simply replies, “Fuck you”. He asks her if she wants to go to the hospital or the police station. At the hospital, a policeman is talking to her (Cameo #1 – John Dugan – The Original Grandpa), telling her it’s not the first time something like this has happened, and that they’ll look into it. As he talks, an orderly (Cameo #2 = Paul A. Partain – Franklin) walks by, pushing a patient (Cameo #3 – Marilyn Burns- Sally Hardesty) on a gurney. The two stare at one another, as if they know exactly what the other is thinking and feeling. The woman on the gurney continues to stare, as does Jenny, while the policeman tries to get her attention. The film ends with the officer asking, “What the hell’s goin’ on around here?”, as we get a final shot of the sun, and Leatherface swinging his chainsaw down the dirt road.

I have to start off by saying I don’t know why so many people hate this movie. Seriously. I know tastes are different and all, but people like the second one, but not this? But that’s just me. I just hope I’m not the only one out there who loved this movie! The soundtrack is fantastic, utilizing a mixture of rock and country, definitely giving the movie a backwoods feeling at times. My favorite song, though, was definitely “Blue Moon at Dawn” by The Coffee Sargeants. To me, this really is like a cheesy 80s movie, because it has all the elements of the ones we love; Sleepaway Camp, Motel Hell, Return of the Living Dead, movies like that. Of course, I am not comparing this movie to those classic greats, I’m simply saying that it is possible to do horror and comedy right. Vilmer’s character is so wildly insane at times, and so eerily calm at others, that I feel this makes him a very worthy villain. Plus, you’re never really sure if he is some kind of secret agent acting, or if there is some society out there using him and his fucked up family to do their bidding. I always sort of loved the conspiracy theory aspect, because when one thinks back on all the incidents over the years of the Chainsaw films, it seems too good to be true that no one was ever discovered, apprehended, or brought to justice (well, except for whoever the introduction mentioned in a prior film, but I don’t count that). All we’re ever told is that the victims are brutally killed in the middle of nowhere, the killers seem to vanish in plain sight, and the survivors are left dazed, catatonic, or fucking insane themselves. I think, like many people might, that the idea of the films is better than the actual presentation of them (i.e., for me, Part 2). Zellweger did a fabulous job, and this is one of my favorite roles of hers. She really has the qualifications of a scream queen, and genuinely looked terrified. McConaughey was remarkable – he sure can play a psychopath well.

John Dugan, Marilyn Burns, and Paul A. Partain

That’s why I found this one so refreshing, because, let’s see: we get two amazing actors who have gone on to have two of the biggest careers ever, three cameos that only a horror fan would have caught unless they’d been made aware of it, gruesome kills, funny yet menacing characters, a sympathetic final girl, a believable premise (prom night), and a lovely soundtrack. Oh, yeah, and Leatherface is dressed in more drag than I’ve ever seen him in before. He even puts on lipstick and admires his body in the mirror like Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs! Have I convinced anyone yet?…..No? Well, maybe I never will, but I will always enjoy this sequel, semi-remake, whatever people want to call it. I call it a sequel, because other incidents are referenced, and I always took the patient on the gurney at the end to be Sally Hardesty, no matter what the prior sequels said about her dying in a private care facility. Bullshit. W.E.’s character was another favorite; I loved all the quotes he spouted in the film (“Discretion is the better part of valor”, “The woman’s a whore, and there’s an end on it”, “I have not yet begun to fight”). I mean, seriously, the guy’s really smart, and he doesn’t seem as crazy as the others, so it makes me wonder what the fuck he’s doing there! Plus, Kim Henkel directed this, bringing back three actors we all know and love from the 70s film, so if you still don’t like it for whatever reason, you should at least respect that it had some throwback to the original predecessor throughout. It’s a lot better than it’s given credit for!


I first saw this movie years ago, and found it completely ridiculous. I bought it a few years ago on DVD, to be a completist, and recently watched it for the first time in forever. And it was…..just as stupid as I remember. Even more so, actually. I found a few likeable sequences, and a few good character traits in our final girl, but honestly, I could completely do without this one. That said, I definitely liked the Breakfast Club arrangement of the cast on the poster. This one is crazy, absolutely crazy. Not good crazy - idiotic, mind-numbing, will-it-ever-end crazy.

We get the typical introduction about the past crimes of the chainsaw-wielding family, and then, we’re introduced to two fucking punk ass teenagers, driving along the back roads of Texas. They’re drinking, listening to the radio, and destroying property. Didn’t we all do that? Uhh, no. Anyway, they play chicken with this truck driver, running him off the road, and they really shouldn’t have done that. They call into the radio station to speak to the host, Stretch, a pretty, resourceful young woman, who they begin to harass. They refuse to stop and won’t hang up the phone, which I don’t really get. I mean, I don’t know how radio stations work, but if I want to not talk to someone anymore, I hang up the phone…but that’s just me. Later on, they call again, as they encounter the truck from earlier. It begins taunting them, driving right alongside them. Leatherface, wearing some kind of creepy get-up begins chainsawing their car, and eventually cuts the top of the teen driver’s head off. The kids crash, and Stretch hears the whole horrific encounter. The next morning, investigators are on the scene, collecting evidence from the crash. A former Texas Ranger, Lt. Lefty Enright, (what kind of fucking name is that, really?!), played by Dennis Hopper, comes upon the crash, and believes the chainsaw murderers are behind it. Other cops tell him to get lost, but he’s determined to get justice for his niece and nephew, Sally and Franklin Hardesty, from 13 years ago.

Lefty somehow convinces a local newspaper to run the story he’s chasing, prompting a visit from Stretch, who tries to get him to listen to the tape of the murders. He brushes her off for some reason, and she goes back downstairs. The hotel is hosting a Texas-Oklahoma Chili Cook-Off – the winner turns out to be Drayton Sawyer (The Cook from the original). Everyone wants to know the secret to his fantastic meat, but he’s keeping his lips zipped. She and her partner L.G. record a report of the cook-off, and leave. Lefty goes to a chainsaw store, and purchases three, two small, and one huge one, to which he lays down about 600 or so bucks in cash. He meets Stretch back at her station, saying he’s changed his mind. He wants her to broadcast the tape every hour in hopes of gaining tips and information. She’s reluctant, but agrees. On his way home from receiving the chili award, Drayton gets a phone call from his family, telling him that the radio is playing a tape of the murders. After listening to the tape for what seems like forever, L.G. goes to get food, and Stretch is left alone. She hears a noise and goes investigating.

Stretch comes upon a terrifyingly hideous man in a wig, sitting on the couch. He tells her she’s his favorite, and talks about a bunch of weird things. She asks him to leave, trying to keep him calm, because he keeps burning a metal hanger with a lighter, scratching his head with it, and licking it. Gross. This guy (Bill Moseley, one of the only good things about the movie) has horrendous teeth, and isn’t very fashionable. He’s freaking her out, and she gives him a mini-tour to pacify him. As he enters the record room, he flips the light on, revealing Leatherface with his cranked up chainsaw. Leatherface chases her throughout the station, as she eventually barricades herself in a room behind a huge metal door. In the process, he has knocked off Chop-Top’s wig, revealing a large nasty plate in his head, which is not covered by skin. That’s what he was picking at with the hanger, which makes it even more icky. Stretch is relieved when the buzzing stops.

Leatherface goes back out to confront L.G., who has now returned with some drinks. He knocks him down, and Chop-Top proceeds to bash him about the head with a hammer for what seems like an eternity. He tells Leatherface to finish the girl off, and he breaks into the room from the other side. She attempts to distract him by acting sexually towards him. He replies by grossly licking his lips, and running the now-off chainsaw up her thigh into her crotch. She pretends to like it to make him not want to kill her, and it works. She tells him he’s good, and seriously, watching Leatherface get horny is extremely disturbing in itself. He freaks out again, apparently sexually frustrated (come on dude, look at yourself, you’re wearing someone else’s face). He doesn’t kill her though, but goes back downstairs and tells Chop-Top he did. They drag off L.G., hop in their truck, and drive away.

Ugh, I’m sort of already sick of talking about this one, and for me, that’s pretty rare. There’s just no umph, no spark in this sequel. Anyway, Stretch is pissed that the murderers showed up and Lefty wasn’t there, so she follows them. Makes sense? No, but it’s a movie. They’re going to their home, which is located underground in some sort of abandoned theme park or something ridiculous. She gets out of the car, and someone begins chasing her in a vehicle. It’s only Lefty (can we please change his name?!), and as her face shows relief, the ground opens up beneath her feet, and she starts falling. Lefty tries to help her by reaching out with a skeletonized arm. She grabs its bony fingers, but we all know how frail dead limbs are, so it breaks and she falls for what seems like forever. Now, Lefty is even more determined, and straps the chainsaws to himself in full militia style, which by the way, looks utterly ridiculous. Normally, I don’t mind revenge aspects, but this is just too much. I know it’s supposed to be dark comedy, but I don’t get that at all. It’s more like……ridiculous. Yes, I’m aware that I’ve used the word ‘ridiculous’ several times, but it’s really the best adjective for this film.

So he bursts in the joint, guns….I mean, chainsaws blazing, and starts tearing the place apart, making his way from room to room. Stretch hides as she sees Leatherface begin to undress and skin parts of her friend, L.G. He removes his face, and hangs it on a meat hook. He notices Stretch, and tries to attack her. She tells him “no good”, and he stops. He goes over and grabs L.G.’s face, and places it on hers, as well as his cowboy hat. She’s lookin’ really freaky and bloody, and Leatherface begins to dance with her. Suddenly, Lefty’s destruction upstairs causes debris to fall on them, and Leatherface must hide her again.

Leatherface goes to the rest of his family, while Stretch discovers that L.G. isn’t dead. He gets up and begins wandering around with no skin on his face or the right side of his chest, his ribs exposed. He cuts the ties binding Stretch’s hands, and falls down, finally dead. She gives his face and cowboy hat back to their rightful owner. Stretch escapes the room and starts running, but she is noticed by the family. Meanwhile, Lefty is still cutting a path of destruction looking for the killers. He comes upon Franklin’s skeleton, still mangled and sitting in his wheelchair from thirteen years earlier. Lefty’s even more pissed now, and continues his quest for revenge.

Stretch runs into Leatherface in a long tunnel thing, and he begins chasing her. Finally confronted, his family catches up, and starts talking how about how Bubba’s got a girlfriend, and they want her to stay for dinner. Drayton tells Leather to finish her off, but he won’t do it. She begs him to help her, but Chop-Top continues to act insane and harass her while carrying around a dead body. Leatherface begins hitting his head against a light fixture, and Stretch wakes up at the dinner table, as usual.

At supper, Stretch is tied to the table, and the family goes to get Grandpa. She screams at Leatherface to let her go, but he simply can’t bring himself to defy his relatives. They drag her from the table, and try to get Grandpa to bash her in the head with a hammer, just like in the original. He’s too weak to do any real damage, but eventually does knock her unconscious. Lefty bursts in with his chainsaw, and confronts the family. Drayton, I guess, doesn’t realize what he’s pissed about, and thinks it’s concerning his meat, his business, and him winning the chili cook-off. He soon takes him a bit more seriously, and as he turns to get away, he is chainsawed in the butt. It doesn’t kill him though, and he hides under the table. Lefty and Leatherface get into a chainsaw match of pretty fantastic proportions, including on top of the table that Drayton is hiding beneath. He frees Stretch and tells her to run. She does, with Chop-Top right behind her.

Lefty eventually plunges the chainsaw into Leatherface’s stomach, but somehow he’s still fighting. Under the table, however, Drayton figures his only way out is to use the grenade hidden in one of the dead body’s pocket. He pulls the pin out, and a few minutes later, as Lefty raises his two small chainsaws in victory, it falls to the floor. It’s not really shown, but it’s assumed that the place blows up. I guess. I mean, this movie is so crazy, no one can tell what the fuck is going on half the time. Stretch makes her way across a bridge, and is attacked by Chop-Top, but she uses electricity to zap his metal plate, causing him to spaz out for a while. She sees the most obvious EXIT sign ever, and takes the flight of stairs. She gets out of the building finally, and climbs up some kind of rock structure with even more stairs.

That loony fuck Chop-Top is still behind her, and as he gets closer, she bites the shit out of him. She attacks him from behind, causing him to lose his balance, and hang on for dear life to the staircase. Well, of course, he makes it back up to the top. Stretch finds herself in some sort of altar thing that’s some sort of shrine to the Sawyer grandmother, as she sits, dead and rotting, with flowing gray hair, chainsaw in tow. Chop-Top arrives, and begins cutting his own throat several times, as Stretch reaches for the chainsaw on Grandma’s lap. He tells her to leave the woman alone, but she cuts him in the stomach and he falls backwards off the mountain. Emerging victorious, and now clearly nuts as well, she begins cheering, and swinging the chainsaw around, as Leatherface does at the end of nearly every movie.

Wow, so, this movie is……incredibly repetitive, manic (and not in a good way), confusing, cheesy, boring in most parts, and too long. Not that I have an issue with long movies in general, just long movies that feature nothing but the same people running around, screaming the entire time, and never getting anywhere. As you can probably tell, this is my least favorite Chainsaw film. I didn’t like it before, and I don’t like it now. I don’t hate it, it’s just that I couldn’t get into it. I rolled my eyes several times, and found myself getting verrryyyy sleeeepppy. Someone, please give me a few redeeming qualities about this film, besides Chop-Top’s character, and the unique, creepy chainsaw-in-the-crotch part. This is so far removed from the original. It’s honestly hard to believe they were both directed by the same guy. I just think the story became quite ludicrous, and it held none of the gritty, grindhouse, snuff-film feeling you get from the first one. I liked Stretch as the radio DJ, but after a while, her screaming really got on my nerves, and it just felt too forced. Jim Siedow and Bill Moseley were brilliant as usual, but the rest of the movie didn’t fit their genius. Dennis Hopper’s Lefty Enright was just…..I don’t know. Ridiculous? Not vengeful enough? Half insane himself? The character was just so weird, and weird in a way I didn’t get. Usually, weird is good, but in this case, it was like his character was pulled from a different movie and placed in a slasher film loaded with chainsaws and no direction as to what to do, what to say, or where to go. This is definitely not the best Chainsaw film, it’s the worst. You could completely skip this one, and miss, virtually, nothing from the story or the series as a whole.


The prequel to the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre shouldn’t have been good, much like the remake itself. But it was. It was damn good, and I loved it. Yeah, the characters might not have been as deep as I like, but for what they were, they were deep enough. Considering that we nearly already knew they would all be murdered, it was still a blast to watch. And, technically, if we only go by title and what actually happens, this is really the only film in the series that heavily represents the chainsaw, except maybe Leatherface.

We begin in August of 1939, at a slaughterhouse in the hot Texas heat. A woman working an assembly line begins to give birth, and subsequently dies afterward. The boss is a real prick and wouldn’t let her off the line even to give birth for some indiscretion. That’s a real winner. Anyway, the woman dies, and the grotesque looking baby is put in the dumpster out back. A woman searching for food comes across him, and takes him home to raise as her own. That woman is a young Luda Mae Hewitt, and that boy is Thomas, otherwise known as Leatherface. Luda Mae’s son, Charlie (later known as Sheriff Hoyt) says he’s the ugliest thing he’s ever seen.

Jump ahead thirty years to July of 1969, and we see that the slaughterhouse is being closed down by the Texas Health Department. Thomas is still butchering meat, and is the only one left working. The manager’s underling has to go tell him to get a move on, but Thomas doesn’t like this, or that he calls him a dumb animal. I don’t like that either – animals aren’t dumb, but I digress. He’s pissed, and menacingly silent, but leaves. Then, we meet Eric (Matthew Bomer) and his girlfriend Chrissie (Jordana Brewster) at the pool at a motel, discussing their plans. She wants to get married and have kids, but it comes off as cute not nagging, and he’s off to re-enlist for the Vietnam War. Their little inside joke (How many? Boys or girls? What are their names?) helps us get to know them better, and is actually sad later on in the movie. We also meet Dean, Eric’s brother, and his girlfriend, Bailey, who are planning on sexing it up in the motel room. He’s tied up, and she’s ready to go but, he changes his mind. He’s too worried about having to tell his brother that he’s absconding, and not joining him in the war. He stares at his draft card, intent on burning it. Eric bangs on the window, and tells him what time to be ready in the morning.

Later that same night, Leatherface makes his way back to the slaughterhouse, and kills his boss with a sledgehammer. He grabs a chainsaw and mosies on down the road. The kids all leave the motel in the morning, and encounter a group of aggressive bikers who taunt them. Meanwhile, Sheriff Hoyt (the real one)  shows up at the Hewitt home to inquire about Tommy’s behavior. Charlie (R. Lee Ermey) agree to go with him to find Thomas. The Sheriff calls him retarded, but Charlie says he’s just misunderstood. They come upon him, and Charlie pulls out a gun and blows the Sheriff away. He now assumes his identity, takes his hat and badge, and becomes Sheriff Hoyt.

That night, the Hewitts feast on a hearty meal – Sheriff Hoyt. Charlie, who now insists on being called Hoyt, tells his family that this man will help sustain them, and now they must do what they have to in order to survive since the slaughterhouse has been shut down, and there is no work. They resort to some kind of demented Donner Party-like mentality, except that their circumstances are not extenuating – they’re just fucking insane. Luda Mae and Uncle Monty seem to have apprehensions, but go along with the plan anyhow.

The next morning, the teens are passing through town, and stop at the little convenience store operated by the Hewitt family. There, they see some of the bikers who tormented them the day before. Bailey tells Chrissie that Dean isn’t going to Vietnam, and Chrissie supports their decision, though she knows Eric will be pissed. After getting back in the car, Dean begins burning his draft card, and telling his brother that he is not going. He asks him how he could want him to go there after experiencing all those terrible things firsthand. They get into an argument, and nearly a physical altercation, when they see the biker chick, Alex, following behind them with a shotgun. She motions for them to pull over, and Eric begins shooting at her with the gun he had hidden in the car. They aren’t paying attention to the road, because they don’t notice the beautiful, large brown cow that has wondered directly into their path. They plow right into her, causing her to basically explode, and their car flips and rolls.

The biker, Alex, is still after the kids to rob them, and tells them to get out of the car. Well, they really can’t at the moment, they’re kind of bloody and shook up. Chrissie has been thrown from the car and is across the street in a field. “Sheriff Hoyt” shows up, and Alex tells him she’s glad he’s here, to which he replies, “Oh, I just bet you are”, and promptly shoots her ass to Kingdom Come with his own gun. The teens are now shocked at this supposed Sheriff’s behavior, but they haven’t seen anything yet. The kids, injured, get out of the car. Hoyt pulls a shard of glass from Bailey’s chest, and she cries. The Sheriff continues conduct unbecoming of an officer, and makes Dean get the dead biker off the road and into his passenger seat. He also notices a burned draft card. Since the car wasn’t on fire, he knows that one of the boys is a draft dodger. Taking the wrap for his brother, Eric tells the Sheriff he’s Dean instead. Chrissie and Eric make eye contact, and he shakes his head, implying she should stay put.

He forces the three teens into his “squad car”, with the “dead biker chick riding shotgun”. He doesn’t take kindly to their sarcasm, but begins grilling Dean about his experiences in Vietnam. Remembering the things Eric told him before, he rattles off a few key lines to make the Sheriff believe he’d really been there. Meanwhile, Chrissie searches through the wreckage for anything useful, especially the gun. She finds it, but Uncle Monty has pulled up to tow the vehicle back to their house. She hides, and goes along for the ride. At the house, Bailey is tied up to the bottom of the kitchen table, and Eric and Dean are strung up in the barn. Eric is beaten and sprayed with water, while the Sheriff berates him for being a draft dodger. When he finally begins wrapping cellophane around his head, he starts suffocating, and Dean comes clean. Hoyt promptly removes the cellophane, but not before slicing Eric in his mouth. He takes Dean down and makes him do twenty push-ups, which is kind of hard to do when you’re being beaten with a billy club.

Luda Mae is inside washing Bailey’s face while singing “Mockingbird” to her, as Dean continues to be beaten. Hoyt recalls the times he had to eat his fellow man while in the service because they were starving, and that true Americans shouldn’t dodge the draft. As Dean reaches twenty push-ups, he is officially beaten unconscious. Hoyt quips, “My money says he’s not going anywhere”. Chrissie, back out on the road, comes across the biker guy from the store, and tells him what happened. He isn’t convinced until she mentions his friend, Alex, and that the Sheriff shot her. Now, he’s pissed, grabs his gun, and tells Chrissie to show him where. Inside the Hewitt home, Luda Mae is having tea with the gigantic woman, ignoring the bumps and cries from Bailey underneath the table, tied up. Eventually, Eric breaks free from his restraints, and grabs Dean. He hides him, and goes inside for Bailey. He holds a knife to the fat woman, and helps Bailey. She grabs the keys on the counter, and runs out to the tow truck. Eric helps a limping Dean run, until the Sheriff comes back out. Eric tells Dean to run, and he confronts Hoyt. Hoyt knocks him unconscious with the butt of his rifle, as Bailey, happily thinking she’s escaped, is punctured with a bale hook by Leatherface and thrown from the moving vehicle. Dean proceeds to run, and falls into a animal trap, breaking his ankle. Okay, now, they’re all fucked.

After dragging Eric inside, Hoyt has Thomas take him downstairs. He notices the mutilated body of Alex the biker, as well as a large bloody chainsaw. Leatherface begins nailing him to the table his is lying on, on his wrists, and around his neck. He rips off his shirt, and examines his face. Leatherface begins to shred the skin off of his arms with a knife, as Eric screams in pain. Chrissie and the biker make their way to the house, whereby he abandons her in search of his own girlfriend. She enters the house through a window, and hears Eric’s screams. The biker confronts Uncle Monty laying on the couch, and shoots him in the leg. Hoyt is then taken hostage and made to show him the girl. Complying, Hoyt takes him to Bailey. The biker tells Hoyt that’s not the girl he was referring to, and he tells him he doesn’t want to see the other one. He attacks Hoyt, still holding a gun on him, but Leatherface intervenes and knocks the biker to the ground. He’s now fucked as well, and finds himself being brutally sliced in half with the chainsaw. This part is particularly gruesome (and thus, awesome), and it’s even more barbaric when Hoyt compliments Thomas by saying, “You beautiful bastard, you!” The biker’s blood gushes all over the floor, as Bailey screams, covered in blood now herself. Before entering the house, Chrissie comes upon a bloody Dean, still clinging to life. She tells him there’s no help to go for, and she’ll come back for him later.

Finding the captors occupied upstairs, Chrissie makes her way downstairs to Eric. His arms are completely shredded, and he can no longer feel them. She tries to free him, but it’s impossible. She begins crying, and he asks her, “How many?”, referring to the number of children they plan to have. They hear Leatherface coming, and he tells her to hide. She crawls under the table beneath Eric, and listens in horror as he revs up the chainsaw, and shoves it into Eric’s stomach and chest. As he cranks the weapon, Chrissie and Eric both scream, and blood begins showering Chrissie below. After he dies, Leatherface slices off Eric’s beautiful face in remarkably realistic fashion. After pulling back his face, Leatherface sews it up, and makes a new mask. He puts it on just as Hoyt calls him upstairs. Hoyt tells him, “I like your new face”, in a creepy, calm voice.

Hoyt needs Leatherface to cut off Monty’s hurt leg (if there are no jobs in this backwoods town, I’m assuming there are also no hospitals or decent insurance). He proceeds despite protestations from Luda Mae, and of course, Uncle Monty. After severing the injured leg, he also accidentally slices the other one. Hoyt tells him that’s “goddamn sloppy”, and to even it up. So, he severs the other leg as well. When Luda Mae asks what he did that for, Hoyt replies, hilariously, “Balance”. This is how Monty’s legs are lost, as he appears in the 2003 remake. After this bloody home remedy, Chrissie makes her way upstairs to rescue Bailey, however, she is headed off by Hoyt. She awakens just before dinner time.

She is surrounded by a weak and catatonic Uncle Monty, motherly Luda Mae, psychotic Charlie/Hoyt, and her pals Bailey, and Dean. Chrissie is tied to a chair, and the quintessential dinner scene begins. Chrissie asks them if they fuck all their relatives, or just the ones they find attractive. Hoyt calls her a blasphemous bitch, and speaks of redemption. Hoyt reveals the extent of Bailey’s torture – her teeth have been either knocked out or pulled out, and this revelation nearly brings Chrissie to her knees. I mean, if she wasn’t tied to a chair. Luda Mae tells Leatherface to set her free, whereby he pulls her hair back, and slits her throat wide open with a pair of scissors. Chrissie begins screaming hysterically, and who can blame her? This scene is absolutely brutal, and while I feel terrible for the victim, I loved that this movie holds nothing back. I think a lot of the effects look quite real, especially compared to movies that don’t even put any effort into them. Anyway, Luda Mae is trying to get Monty to regain his strength by feeding him broth, cute little kid movements and all, as she feeds him.

Leatherface grabs Chrissie and begins to take her downstairs, when she grabs a screwdriver and stabs him in the back. He drops her, and she runs to the first window and leaps through it. This scene is, of course, an homage and throwback to the original with Sally’s character. She takes off running, as Dean awakens and sees his dead girlfriend. He attacks Hoyt, bashing his face into the porch, causing him to lose some teeth, which is why he has dentures in the 2003 movie. I love that all the little nuances were explained in this prequel. Chrissie winds up at the slaughterhouse (where else?) where, after discovering the manager’s dead body and a dead telephone, she submerges herself in a vat of blood and guts with a knife, awaiting her assailant. Just as he comes by where she is, Dean rushes in calling her name, distracting Leatherface. She emerges, stabs him as best she can, but he knocks her to the floor. Dean attempts to save her, but sadly, he is impaled on and killed by the rotating chainsaw.

She rushes outside and gets in the manager’s car and begins to drive away. As she drives farther, she sees a police officer up ahead who has pulled someone over. Ecstatic, she can’t wait to get there. Until Leatherface appears behind her. She sees him, and screams, as his chainsaw tears through her torso through the driver’s seat. As she dies, and loses control of the car, it slams into the two individuals on the road, killing them as well. As the car comes to a stop, we see Leatherface exiting the car, walking amid the debris and dead bodies, back to his home. The same narrator from several other Chainsaw films, John Larroquette, tells us the body count as of 1973 the Hewitt family is responsible for, and that these crimes are some of the most bizarre and brutal in the annals of American history – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I’ve heard so many critiques of this film, both good and bad, though mostly bad, and I’m not sure why. I’m sure all the reasons are legit, up to and including the “I just didn’t like it” statement. Which is perfectly fine, but I just happened to love it. I remember seeing this movie when it first came out, by myself, because nobody else wanted to see it. That’s okay with me, I enjoyed it just the same. I found the blood and gore refreshing, and I loved the back story, because I felt it made the situation even more terrifying. It would also be terrifying with no explanation (as it is in the original film), but I felt the writing was really superb. The actors were all good-looking, which never hurts, and certain scenes, particularly Eric’s and Bailey’s deaths, were especially brutal and horrific. As I stated before, I really loved the effects, and to me, it seemed very realistic. At these junctures, my investment in the characters really came out, as I found myself feeling so much sympathy for Chrissie as she is forced to see, and hear, her beloved friends being slaughtered. Even the jerkoff biker’s death was barbaric, the way he was flailing about as the chainsaw entered his body and cut all the way through.

The noises are especially effective, sometimes even more so than the visual images. While we’re on the subject of noise, let’s talk about the fantastic soundtrack. Besides the menacing score, we get a delectable taste of 70s rock music, in two of my favorites, “All Right Now” by Free, and “Vehicle” by Ides of March. Honestly, I wish there was more rock music intertwined throughout, but of course, not many scenes called for it, as much of the film is spent watching people run around, scream, and die. The unrated version that was released on DVD is a bit more brutal than its rated, theatrical counterpart, though there were only a few tweaks here and there. That said, they were powerful tweaks. We get more up close and personal shots, particularly during Eric’s death, and more prominently, during the skinning process. It’s a fun, wild ride, and though it may not capture the gritty, campy essence of the original, it certainly ranks up there with the best horror movies of the past few years.


Okay, so, if you haven’t seen this yet, I strongly urge you to do so. As much as I am on a different page than some people when it comes to good horror movies, I will definitely say that this is one of best, most refreshing horror movies I have seen in years. I couldn’t wait to see this, and it was even better than I imagined it would be. I am truly impressed.

Some people may think this film is nothing but violence and gore for its own sake, but it’s much more than that. As I write more about films, the more I realize how many I love that deal with human behavior and the potential for depravity. This is no exception. Besides being brilliantly directed by Lucky McKee, and partially written by the great Jack Ketchum, we get nothing less than a beautifully shot, haunting tale of a so-called family man who captures a wild, cannibalistic woman in the woods and keeps her confined in the cellar. The son is a virtual fucking psychopath following in his abusive father’s footsteps, the oldest daughter has nearly the same look on her face throughout the whole movie, and the wife is weak, despondent, and submissive, though it seems not willingly so. It’s been a while since a movie made me feel even slightly uncomfortable, so for me, that’s saying something.

 I’m not going to mention anything that happens, because if you’ve not seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it. Yeah, you may not like it (though I doubt it), but you will definitely never forget it. Okay, I can’t help it, I have to at least mention that the scene where the Woman bites off Chris’ finger is fucking DIVINE. The effects and the make-up are fantastic, and the acting…..wow. Pollyanna McIntosh did such an amazing job as the Woman that it’s hard to believe she’s only acting. If you have seen it, you know exactly what I am talking about. The music and its usage throughout is impeccable. The violence and gore never seems out of place, and always has a purpose. Hell, by the time you get to the end, and maybe even before, you will be rooting for The Woman. Honestly, I found myself yelling at the screen, doing that thing we all hate, where we try to tell the characters what to do and they just won’t listen. It’s infuriating, heart-pounding, and definitely intense, and I just really, really loved it. I will probably be doing a little bit more in-depth post about this at a later time, because I really don’t want to spoil it for anyone. As I’ve said before, this is one movie you just have to see for yourself!

 Now, go watch it!


This movie is, well, like somewhat of a bad acid trip. Though I don’t know personally, I can only imagine it might bear similarity to this film. We have the jittery camera action, which at some points can nearly give you motion sickness. It is almost all filmed in black and white. There is virtually no dialogue, with the exception of a narrator, a nurse verbally expressing her thoughts offscreen, and an interview with a witness scattered intermittently throughout. And how many times can we watch snow falling?! In fact, much of this film is spent watching snow falling, blood oozing, records spinning, or differing organisms scurrying around under a microscope lens. The music is ridiculous and almost comical at times, and some of it seemed to come straight out of a bad techno party. The acting is at its worst terrible and at its best mediocre. Did I mention it is four and a half hours long?

That said, I would be remiss not to mention that some of these scenes in the film are rather gruesome (cockroach, enough said), but most are clearly, obviously, painstakingly FAKE. It is also necessary to mention that these reenactments, in pseudo-documentary format (gritty, shaking camera and all), are based on true events that occurred at Japanese Unit 731 from the 1930s through to about 1945. They conducted inhumane, horrific experiments on the prisoners that have gone down in history as some of the worst atrocities man can inflict on man, including biological and chemical warfare. Some of the scenes portrayed are seemingly medically inaccurate and are no doubt used for shock value, to enhance the already horrendous nature of what actually occurred. One fictional aspect was that two of those involved in these diabolical “experiments” felt a modicum of sympathy for these unfortunate souls, but of course, they were “only following orders” (don’t get me started on that bullshit). I feel that the level of gore mixed with the awful special effects did somewhat of a disservice to those victims who truly deserve respect and remembrance for the brutality they endured. I am highly ambivalent about this film, leaning somewhere between pure genius and utter stupidity and disrespect. The cheesy effects went so far past believable that I don’t know how any gullible person could think this is actually real. The stories are based in fact, the movie’s images themselves are not. Come to think of it, the worse the effects got, and how far beyond they went actually detracted from the fact that we are supposed to be feeling sorry for these victims. We do in real life, of course, but in this long-winded portrayal, you are almost sitting there, sarcastically saying, “Oh, come on…geez….ahh, more snow, great..”.

Several of the scenes are utterly implausible, and like I said, so far beyond fake it is almost amusing. I do believe some of the archival footage and a few photo stills may be real, but in other instances, it’s like watching something out of a haunted house. However, it also finds some way to grab your attention in certain parts, and makes you really depressed. These are people. People doing these things to other people. How can we wrap our brains around this madness? It more serves as a gross-out movie more than one that could provoke any real emotion, at least for the majority of it. I cannot, in good conscience, recommend this movie, as I feel it does virtually little to nothing to promote the cause of these tragic victims, their pain, and their place in history, and I almost found it a little insulting. It is slightly uncomfortable in the more quiet sequences, but once the violence kicks in, you remember it’s all fake. We need to remember the victims of wartime atrocities, not exploit them. But if you want to give it a go, be my guest! You might fall asleep for the first hour or so, and its a long ride, so it’d be best to put on a pot of coffee.


“A lesson in brutality”. That tagline is putting it mildly. This film, released in 2009 and directed by Uwe Boll, features a magnetic and frightening performance by Edward Furlong. I love him, and despite the troubles in his personal life, I still think he’s a hell of an actor. The fact is, in this film, it doesn’t even matter who the actors are, because the characters are so terrifying and depraved, that you, at some point, start to forget that these are actors playing parts. They are so convincing, dark and sadistic. The fact that this is based on a real incident in a German juvenile detention center in 2006 is even more troubling.

The story revolves around three cellmates who, after playing a particularly heated poker game, decided to gang up on the fourth. Not just gang up - I mean beat, torture, humiliate, and make fun of. This film is so real and raw and disturbing; there’s just something about it that really got under my skin. As you guys know, I have watched some really messed up stuff, but this one truly got to me. Either it was because it’s based on a true story, or because the acting was so convincing. Maybe it was because in this movie, which takes place primarily in a prison cell, the characters cannot escape, period. I have always been both fascinated by, and revolted by the actions that human beings take against one another, and this is a perfect example of that. Can we all just take a collective sigh of relief that we are not in prison? Whew…okay, that feels better. But it’s no consolation. This movie is very well-made, but it will likely not be one you’ll want to watch more than once or twice. After reading a review from the eclectic JDC-Witherton, I decided to give this film a go. I’m glad I did, but it definitely left me thinking about it long after it was through. From the beginning, knowing the synopsis, it makes you a bit nervous, and you’ll either bite your nails or smoke a cigarette. Maybe both. A very intense film, you’ll be kind of thankful that it’s only 90 minutes. Once again, I paused in giving any specifics in case you want to venture into this film as I did. Since I don’t think that many people have seen this one, I’d like to leave everyone with an open mind when it comes to the details. Happy viewing…..you’ll need it! :-D


The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007) is yet another “found-footage” film, that is meant as a faux-documentary. (I swear I’m not doing reviews on those movies only, it just seems that most movies these days have tapped the “found-footage” well.) The story surrounds the elusive serial killer known as the Water Street Butcher, an evil, sadistic predator who seems to lurk in plain sight. He kills indiscriminately; children, women, men, even Girl Scouts. The thing is – he records his murders on a hand-held camera, giving the movie that gritty, torture-movie look. And it is creepy in some scenes, and especially some of the things he says.

Apparently, the killer has gotten away, but as the police search, they uncover hundreds of videotapes, thus the title of the movie. The “creator”of this “faux documentary” interviews ‘police’, ‘professors’, and ‘FBI agents’ about the sadistic killer, the tapes, and his victims. Those terms are in quotes, because it really is like a movie within a movie, or life imitating art imitating life. Something like that. This killer is very unique as opposed to your typical slasher movie killer. He wears incredibly scary masks, tells his victims to call him Master, and even kidnaps one girl and keeps her for years and when she escapes, she has Stockholm Syndrome and is in love with him. If you think about it, it is actually really sad. Not that this is a great movie, but it is absolutely unique and honestly, sort of scary at times. You really never know what is coming. A really creepy scene? The killer goes to the front door of one of his victims with his camera, and basically admits to doing it, and as the victim’s mother realizes it, he laughs and walks away. Okay, so it does not sound scary, but the way he talks really reminds you of how sick and twisted the world can really be.

This is probably the scariest part of the film. 

I really liked this film, but it is currently not available on DVD, and no one really knows why. So to see it, you’ll have to find it on a website or download it somewhere. It was directed by the Dowdles, of the Devil and Quarantine fame. I hope they do release this someday, as it is a very compelling story, albeit a little cheesy, but no one will doubt that it is one of the most different films that is out there. I really liked it.


Last House on the Left (1972), is my all-time favorite movie. It is actually hard to explain, as many people do not understand why. In some respects, I do not understand either. There’s something about it, though. Perhaps it is the innocence of the “love-generation” being defiled and destroyed; not by someone in a far off place, or some demonic entity, but from people that are in our own midst. I do believe that is what the filmmakers were saying, like, “Hey, wake up from your dream, this shit really happens in today’s world”. Maybe it is a sad, brutal, satirical commentary on the changing world of the 1970s. Perhaps, it is just the music, which lulls you into a sense of security with the few upbeat, giddy tracks, then rips it to shreds in the next breath. Maybe I read too much into things, but this, to me, is what movies are all about, and those are the movies that are usually more successful, if not at the time, then later as it becomes a cult classic. I suppose it is all of these factors, mixed with the social climate of the era, the use of brutal violence to make a statement, and about making the viewer just uncomfortable enough to believe what we are seeing on screen can happen (and it does). This is why Last House on the Left is my favorite movie, and why I believe it has become so successful among later generations that discover it. With time, it becomes apparent that some individuals of that era, and still today, could not look past the celluloid images and see the film for what it is. The message behind it. It is a gritty, brilliant piece of filmmaking that people should respect, understand, and that Wes Craven probably did not know would be what many people consider a major highlight of his career.



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