Hey all!

So, I feel really guilty about something, and need to get it off my chest. I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately – personal problems, my grandma’s leg amputation, and now my father is dying of liver cancer. With all that, I had a massive ass migraine yesterday, the kind where you want to vomit or shoot yourself and get it over with? Yeah. So I was with my mom to visit my grandma, and I felt so bad that I laid the seat down in the car and went to sleep. My mother asked what I wanted for dinner when she returned to the vehicle, and I was so sick, I was just craving something I hadn’t eaten in a year and a half – Long John Silver’s. Okay, I know some of you are saying  ‘Gross!’ but I like it, so bite me. I ate fish, and it was amazing, and sickening at the same time. At least it wasn’t beef, etc., and I know that fish have feelings too, but at least it wasn’t something that was tortured before it was slaughtered. I still feel bad though, as if all my hard work has gone out the window. Am I crazy?

I honestly felt nauseous from all the grease, but it tasted so good. This is why I feel so bad, because I wanted it so I ate it. I didn’t NEED to. I guess this is something I will always struggle with when it comes to fish, and I guess fish isn’t as bad as other types of meat. In case you were wondering, my headache is better after ibuprofen, Vicodin, and a good night’s/morning’s sleep. As always, thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts, after all, you guys are like family!

About Aloha Mister Hand

25, horror chick, blog writer, animal lover, Facebook addict, photographer-hopeful.

7 responses »

  1. kloipy says:

    So sorry to hear about your dad and grandmother Jamie. Can’t imagine what a rough time you must be going through.

    I’m not one to try and judge others based on their own lifestyle. I think you are being too hard on yourself about this honestly. I understand the place you are coming from, but you shouldn’t also deprive yourself from what you like or want. There are plenty of places that produce meat that are local, organic, and give the animals a great life, not shoved into cages.

    Just hate to hear you feeling bad about this issue. I know a few vegetarians that have eaten meat now and again.

  2. I like Long John Silver’s too. Don’t feel bad.

  3. mistylayne says:

    So sorry to hear about the craziness life has thrown your way right now. (((hugs))) I agree with Kloipy – while I understand the guilty, I think you are being a little hard on yourself. As someone who understands food associated guilt (but from a very different perspective), maybe look at it this way – you obviously needed it for some reason (probably like comfort food) and you had it. Your body just needs certain things sometimes regardless so don’t beat yourself up. Also glad your headache is gone!

  4. fluffrick says:

    Recently-converted veggies fall off the wagon from time to time – my weakness will always be a bacon sandwich and it’s one that I’ve managed to avoid for a good few years now. When traumatic things happen, it’s perfectly understandable that you deal with that stress by doing things which are comforting. ‘Moderation in all things’ is a dull motto to live your life by, but it works for me.

    Hope that things get better in your world – and if the vegetarian transition takes time to work, or requires the odd detour, so be it. As most folks here are saying, don’t beat yourself up.

    I’m now trying not to think about bacon sandwiches…

  5. jmount43 says:

    I’m sorry to hear about your dad and your grandmother, Jamie. As for the other thing; got to have meat with my meal. However, I respect you for wanting to be a vegan. Don’t feel bad about the LJS. You were hungry, you ate. End of story. :)

  6. I’m not trying to make excuses for you – but as a few people have already said, it sounds like a moment of weakness, brought on by lots of stresses. I wouldn’t get too upset about it.

    Also, my father died of liver failure, but not liver cancer. So… you’ll get to join the Children of Dead Parents Club soon. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to refuse membership. I wish I wasn’t a member.

  7. Don’t have Long John Silver’s over here, so I don’t have anything to even begin judging you with :-)

    Hope things turn for the better soon, and sorry to hear you’ve been going through so much :-(

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